Wednesday, January 31, 2007
In the residue of memory…
“I wake in the middle of the night to dead silence. The stars have vanished. Am I dreaming? I have the sense my body is beached, embedded in warm sand. The ripples of my windpipe, ribs, and spine hardly break the mackerel wave of the sand dunes around me. From here I could keep very quiet and watch the world…The pilgrimage is complete. Life is a barren waste to cross and along the way we’ll see dancing mirages that confuse us and a few scattered wells from which to draw our hope. But we throw ourselves into the journey and when it’s done, even while having learned that all experience involves the loss of something beloved, what is left in the residue of memory is love” –The Zanzibar Chest (a MUST READ)
Innocence Defined
Something I think about a lot since Kenya is how a lot of the time I feel sensitized to the things I see in Africa. I can walk into an HIV/AIDS clinic and see tiny children who clearly have only days left and I can walk out and go onto the next activity relatively un-phased. I don’t know if un-phased is the right way to put it, clearly I am affected and upset, but I don’t cry in situations that should make every person cry. I used to be so totally emotional about everything I saw, and now it’s like I am used to it. I think that it’s a necessary characteristic to have for anyone who wants to do development work, because if you let everything get to you it would be impossible to work effectively, and I know that when I keep myself together and somewhat emotionally guarded I can help more people in the long run…but sometimes, like today, I suddenly feel the build up of all of the emotions I didn’t let come out so I don’t know what is healthier….to feel it as I go or to let it build up like this and not be able to control how it releases. I think that last night really pushed on that wall that I have built up to protect myself from falling apart.
I spent the night at a “night commuters” center on the outskirts of Gulu town. Gulu is the district/town most severely impacted by the war in the north and it was this center and the neighboring school that were featured in the original documentary by Invisible Children. Up until about 6 months ago hundreds upon hundreds of children would walk from their villages at night to sleep on the streets, verandas and various “centers” in Gulu town, which was more secure because it had the government military base. They did this to avoid the massacres and abduction of children LRA. In August there was a ceasefire leading to the peace talks you’ve seen me write about. As a result of the recent calm in the conflict, when I took the U.S. participants to Gulu 2 1/2 weeks ago there were only about 50 children sleeping at this particular center. Most children felt secure enough to stay at their homes and the ones that still commuted came out of habit or because they didn’t have anywhere else to sleep anymore. Because the LRA are no longer participating in peace talks as of a week or so ago, there is a completely different feeling being up there now than there was a mere two weeks ago. People are afraid again, they are moving back into IDP camps (many had started to move back to their villages) and when I went to the center last night there were over 100 children. I’d say about 20 were over the age of 12, but the rest were younger, down to about 3 years old. I hung out with them, they danced for me, I let the girls play with and style my hair and then we eventually went to bed. Well actually, they demonstrated how they are just typical kids by going from energetic to totally passed out in a matter of minutes.
They sleep in a cement building that is not fully enclosed. They sleep on mats and some blankets on the floor side by side. There were so many of them huddled next to each other for comfort and warmth.
There was one little girl (5 or 6 years old) who I completely fell in love with, she came up to me early on in the night and just started touching my toes and my skin. She was fascinated by the button on my watch that makes it light up. I slept next to her and her sister. I eventually had to move because the blanket I was on was damp with urine and I couldn’t handle the smell and the dampness anymore, but I stayed there until she fell asleep. Before she lay down she made sure her sister was covered with a blanket and then took her own shirt off to use as a pillow. She would open her eyes and look at me and we’d smile at each other until she would dose off again. She defined innocence. I hardly got any sleep. It was uncomfortable, they slept with the lights on because they are afraid of the dark, and a lot of them talked in their sleep and I couldn’t stop wondering what they were dreaming about, what they had been through, what their lives are like, what the feelings that motivate them to commute to this place every night must feel like...
I had to catch an early bus from Gulu back to Kampala so I had to leave the center at 5am. It was still dark and I had to walk back to the Invisible Children volunteer house to get my bag. It was pitch black and the dirt road was deserted and haunting. I had a small flashlight, but every noise in the bushes made me jump and even though I’ll admit I was pretty scared to be walking by myself, I was grateful that I was able to not only experience spending the night, but some of the feelings of what the actual night commute must be like. Today I’ve been on the verge of tears all day. I’ve seen a lot of horrible things, but that little girl and all of those children wedged their way somewhere deep inside of me and I can’t stop picturing her image lying there amongst all of those other tiny children…her eyes looking at me as she fell asleep, her smile that said “it’s just life and it’s ok”, and I can’t stop thinking about how unfair life can be… that at the age of 5 or 6 she has to sleep in that environment, which is so much better than what could possibly happen to her should she sleep at home.
At least the way I feel now reminds me that I am human. It also reminds me that no matter how unfair a situation is, it is life and life moves on regardless. Those children are just children and despite their circumstance they look after one another, they sing, they dance and they laugh right up until they fall asleep curled up next to each other.
I spent the night at a “night commuters” center on the outskirts of Gulu town. Gulu is the district/town most severely impacted by the war in the north and it was this center and the neighboring school that were featured in the original documentary by Invisible Children. Up until about 6 months ago hundreds upon hundreds of children would walk from their villages at night to sleep on the streets, verandas and various “centers” in Gulu town, which was more secure because it had the government military base. They did this to avoid the massacres and abduction of children LRA. In August there was a ceasefire leading to the peace talks you’ve seen me write about. As a result of the recent calm in the conflict, when I took the U.S. participants to Gulu 2 1/2 weeks ago there were only about 50 children sleeping at this particular center. Most children felt secure enough to stay at their homes and the ones that still commuted came out of habit or because they didn’t have anywhere else to sleep anymore. Because the LRA are no longer participating in peace talks as of a week or so ago, there is a completely different feeling being up there now than there was a mere two weeks ago. People are afraid again, they are moving back into IDP camps (many had started to move back to their villages) and when I went to the center last night there were over 100 children. I’d say about 20 were over the age of 12, but the rest were younger, down to about 3 years old. I hung out with them, they danced for me, I let the girls play with and style my hair and then we eventually went to bed. Well actually, they demonstrated how they are just typical kids by going from energetic to totally passed out in a matter of minutes.
They sleep in a cement building that is not fully enclosed. They sleep on mats and some blankets on the floor side by side. There were so many of them huddled next to each other for comfort and warmth.
There was one little girl (5 or 6 years old) who I completely fell in love with, she came up to me early on in the night and just started touching my toes and my skin. She was fascinated by the button on my watch that makes it light up. I slept next to her and her sister. I eventually had to move because the blanket I was on was damp with urine and I couldn’t handle the smell and the dampness anymore, but I stayed there until she fell asleep. Before she lay down she made sure her sister was covered with a blanket and then took her own shirt off to use as a pillow. She would open her eyes and look at me and we’d smile at each other until she would dose off again. She defined innocence. I hardly got any sleep. It was uncomfortable, they slept with the lights on because they are afraid of the dark, and a lot of them talked in their sleep and I couldn’t stop wondering what they were dreaming about, what they had been through, what their lives are like, what the feelings that motivate them to commute to this place every night must feel like...I had to catch an early bus from Gulu back to Kampala so I had to leave the center at 5am. It was still dark and I had to walk back to the Invisible Children volunteer house to get my bag. It was pitch black and the dirt road was deserted and haunting. I had a small flashlight, but every noise in the bushes made me jump and even though I’ll admit I was pretty scared to be walking by myself, I was grateful that I was able to not only experience spending the night, but some of the feelings of what the actual night commute must be like. Today I’ve been on the verge of tears all day. I’ve seen a lot of horrible things, but that little girl and all of those children wedged their way somewhere deep inside of me and I can’t stop picturing her image lying there amongst all of those other tiny children…her eyes looking at me as she fell asleep, her smile that said “it’s just life and it’s ok”, and I can’t stop thinking about how unfair life can be… that at the age of 5 or 6 she has to sleep in that environment, which is so much better than what could possibly happen to her should she sleep at home.
At least the way I feel now reminds me that I am human. It also reminds me that no matter how unfair a situation is, it is life and life moves on regardless. Those children are just children and despite their circumstance they look after one another, they sing, they dance and they laugh right up until they fall asleep curled up next to each other.
"As a child, it is my right to play"
One of the main reasons I traveled to Gulu this past weekend was to attend Abramz’s breakdance classes at a local NGO called HEALS. Aside from being a captivated onlooker, I was there to take pictures and video that I will combine with footage from the Kampala classes in order to create a fundraising video for the project. Abramz and his two incredibly talented friends Hakim and Abdul spent an entire week volunteering their time to teach children registered in the HEALS program how to breakdance. HEALS is an NGO focused on “play therapy”. All of the children who attend HEALS programs have been displaced by the conflict. Many of their families live in IDP camps and rent small huts in town where they send one or two adults to live with all of many children so that the children are kept safer within Gulu town. Some of the kids are also formally abducted and/or orphaned by HIV/AIDS. One of the phrases the organization goes by is, “as a child it is my right to play”. Singing, dancing, painting, photography, theater etc. are all ways that the
organization seeks to HEAL. Breakdance classes not only perfectly fit within the organization’s purpose, but are now also a highlight and an event that the kids look forward to with great anticipation. If I ever had a doubt that Abramz’s mission to heal and empower youth through breakdancing, those doubts have been entirely eliminated and I am 100% convinced of the projects efficacy.
Classes were supposed to begin at 2 and end at 6, but the children would show up around 12 to start practicing, and we usually left around 7. There were two mats where they could dance and avoid dust, but since the number of children was upwards of 100, the majority did their moves in the dust under Gulu’s scorching sun(it’s impossible to describe the amount of dust… I can’t tell if I got a tan in Gulu or if showers just aren’t washing all of the dust off of my skin). I can think of few other occasions where I have seen such happy children. Jolly, the director of HEALS, pointed out one girl and told me that before these classes, she had never once seen her smile. This girl was among the happiest and most enthusiastic of the group. Another girl who is now under the care of Jolly herself, had spent years being sold by her mother for sex because her mother didn’t think she was smart or skilled enough at anything to bring the family something useful in any other way.
She was one of the most talented dancers in the group, spent half of her time helping others learn the moves she had mastered, was elected to be one of the group leaders and teachers once Abramz was gone, and she had the biggest smile I have ever seen. There were also 2 girls and one boy who had escaped from the LRA in the past year. They had been in the bush ranging from 6 months to 2 years. They too participated enthusiastically, opened up to teamwork, accepted instruction, helped teach their peers, never got tired and did not want classes to end. The children worked hard to get their routines right, they never gave up, they were incredible breakdancers, they were proud of each other and of themselves... If that is not empowerment, if that is not healing, then I don’t know what is.
Deo Gracias
When we brought the American participants to Gulu 2 1/2 weeks ago, our only guy, Kris, and I went and got a soccer ball to go play with the kids on the field behind hotel Kakanyero. The first boy we encountered was named Deo Gracias (12 years old). Deo immediately offered to teach me how to play “futbol”. Soon our number went from about 5 to more than 20. Kris was able to play with some of the bigger and better kids before he proceeded to teach the smallest guys the hand slapping game and to make funny faces for the camera. Because my futbol skills are rusty (to say the least), Deo spent an hour giving me pointers and setting up drills where he proceeded to favor me so that I could develop my skills. The kids got a kick out of watching me make a fool of myself, although I must say I did improve relatively quickly (the fact that my competitors were half my size helped). Deo was an excellent teacher, very thoughtful and encouraging. Kris left the ball with Deo, we took a picture of the three of us and that was that. When we left I thought about Deo and how much leadership potential he has and it felt unfortunate that I was unable to do something to help him utilize this potential, a feeling of helplessness set in just as it does every time I meet someone that I know could go far, but whose circumstance hinders them (happens multiple times every day).
After a day in Apac and Lira districts I returned to Gulu this past weekend. On my first full day I was walking into hotel Kakanyero and a boy came up to me and just stood there. It took me a few seconds to realize that it was Deo. He didn’t say much else other than hi so I simply returned his greeting and went upstairs to get lunch. A few minutes later Deo appeared at my table and sat down looking at me. I felt slightly awkward, not knowing what to say. He shyly said that he wanted to bring me to see his home. On any other day I may have said no, I was a girl traveling by myself and I didn’t know this boy very well nor did I know what his family or home would be like. However, I had absolutely nothing else to do and had been feeling pretty lonely so I said yes and off we went. It turned out that he lived about a 1 minute walk down the street in what I felt was a pretty nice set-up. He proudly brought me inside to meet his elderly mother and his two older brothers Immanuel and Charles. They sat me down and started asking me all sorts of questions about America, my family, my life, what I was doing etc. I am so used to people asking me for things because I am white that I was definitely waiting for the underlying purpose in inviting me over. No motive other than curiosity and friendship was ever made apparent. I think that Deo was returning the gesture that Kris and I had shown him a few weeks before. I was also given my Acholi name “Akidi” meaning stone (it sounds like Katie when you say it).
It was nice to be in a home with a family and to feel more accepted into the Gulu community. It was comforting, especially after my first 2 days of traveling by myself and being unable to talk to my own family and friends. I went back to their home the next day to take pictures, a friend of theirs gave me a free boda ride (unheard of!) and later that day I took them with me to Abramz’s breakdance class. I loved spending time with the three boys, especially Deo, who I could tell felt proud and mature that I was HIS friend. It was hard saying goodbye to Deo, but refreshing to feel like I will never be an outsider in Gulu again, I have a family I know will look out for and take care of me while I am there. Yet another benefit of traveling alone…Deo was one of the little things that entered in to fill the empty space and time of traveling solo…one of the little things that makes a huge difference in the way you experience things.
After a day in Apac and Lira districts I returned to Gulu this past weekend. On my first full day I was walking into hotel Kakanyero and a boy came up to me and just stood there. It took me a few seconds to realize that it was Deo. He didn’t say much else other than hi so I simply returned his greeting and went upstairs to get lunch. A few minutes later Deo appeared at my table and sat down looking at me. I felt slightly awkward, not knowing what to say. He shyly said that he wanted to bring me to see his home. On any other day I may have said no, I was a girl traveling by myself and I didn’t know this boy very well nor did I know what his family or home would be like. However, I had absolutely nothing else to do and had been feeling pretty lonely so I said yes and off we went. It turned out that he lived about a 1 minute walk down the street in what I felt was a pretty nice set-up. He proudly brought me inside to meet his elderly mother and his two older brothers Immanuel and Charles. They sat me down and started asking me all sorts of questions about America, my family, my life, what I was doing etc. I am so used to people asking me for things because I am white that I was definitely waiting for the underlying purpose in inviting me over. No motive other than curiosity and friendship was ever made apparent. I think that Deo was returning the gesture that Kris and I had shown him a few weeks before. I was also given my Acholi name “Akidi” meaning stone (it sounds like Katie when you say it).
It was nice to be in a home with a family and to feel more accepted into the Gulu community. It was comforting, especially after my first 2 days of traveling by myself and being unable to talk to my own family and friends. I went back to their home the next day to take pictures, a friend of theirs gave me a free boda ride (unheard of!) and later that day I took them with me to Abramz’s breakdance class. I loved spending time with the three boys, especially Deo, who I could tell felt proud and mature that I was HIS friend. It was hard saying goodbye to Deo, but refreshing to feel like I will never be an outsider in Gulu again, I have a family I know will look out for and take care of me while I am there. Yet another benefit of traveling alone…Deo was one of the little things that entered in to fill the empty space and time of traveling solo…one of the little things that makes a huge difference in the way you experience things.
Space and Time
Overlooking Gulu town from the Kakanyero balcony
It’s amazing, the small things you notice, the small things you experience when you go to a place for a second time – or maybe it’s just when one is alone. When you are alone all of the space that was filled with conversation, planning, wondering about others, laughing with others, activities together…becomes empty space…empty space open to even the smallest of notions, space that can either remain or be filled by whatever small or large adventure is waiting. Such small things become interesting, quirks are made visible, and you notice those around you in a different light. Local life becomes much more alive and there is time… Quiet time to close your eyes and listen…and that is enough of a morning activity to give purpose, to bring insight, time enough to let understanding set in more deeply into your soul. Being alone you have the privilege of starting to feel apart of things, another person amongst the many, simply living, instead of feeling like an outsider. Even if those around you still notice you, you cease to notice yourself so much. Your color may not blend, but you feel apart of the pattern and it’s ok. You can’t take comfort in those old things that used to fill time and space because those things no longer exist. All that exists is what used to be foreign, still remains new, but becomes the norm…and feels just right.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Settling in...
During the last few years I’ve “lived” in 5 different places (Minnesota, Kenya, South Africa, New York, and D.C.) and each time it’s become more and more easy to adapt quickly, settle in, and feel comfortable and at home. I’m not sure if it’s my love for the region, life’s daily content, the manageability of the city, the friendliness of the people, or if I’ve just learned how to make any new place feel like home, but I feel totally adapted to life in Uganda. I’ve moved into a 5 bedroom flat above a French restaurant in a safe neighborhood overlooking the rolling hillsides of Kampala. Across the street are 2 markets, some fresh fruit stands, 3 amazingly good restaurants and a few bars where Ugandans come to watch soccer (I’ve never seen joy like I saw the other night when Arsenal won). I can walk out the door and catch a boda boda (motorcyle) into town for about a dollar and a 10-minute, adrenalin pumping ride. I can pay a little bit more and hold on for an even bumpier ride and get to Namuwongo, the slum area where I will be spending a lot of my time during the next month.
Extending my stay in Uganda only entered my mind a few days before leaving. At that point in time, I had no idea what I would do if I stayed longer. The Kimeeza II summit was a success from the get go and both the American and Ugandan participants served as a great inspiration and motivation to stay. The Ugandan participants inspired me with their passion for social justice and their love for and hope in life. All of the participants dedicate their free time (or all of their time) towards helping others who are less fortunate. They work at the grassroots level and having only spent a few weeks with them I was able to witness what a great impact they are having on their communities. The Americans inspired me with their eagerness to learn and their commitment to taking action. Half way through the trip I was not sure if I would extend my stay or not, but during one of the one-on-one evaluation sessions one of the participants was completely distraught because of how much she wanted to stay. She was close to postponing her last semester at college in order to stay and do something. She decided to complete her degree and come back this summer (which I 100% support), but it reminded me that those who CAN do something should. I decided that since I am fortunate to be able to stay on and do something here that I will put my trust into the belief that things will fall into place.
It has been difficult for me to abandon my goal of completing the Miami Marathon (just 5 days away), as I had been training for it since September. However, I would not have put this goal on hold unless I had found something more worthwhile to dedicate my time to. A woman named Torkin, a co-founder of an organization called Bead for Life, said to a group of us that the answer to your prayers or your calling may not be exactly as you expected. I am not sure what I expected, but I did not expect to meet Abramz, founder of Breakdance Project Uganda. Abramz is a socially conscious hip hop artists, a well-known rapper, and now teaches free breakdancing classes in Kampala and in Gulu. Thus far Abramz has supported the project out of his own pocket, turning down paying jobs so that he can continue with his work and reach more youth. Last night I attended my first breakdancing class where young boys and girls of all ages, races and classes come to learn how to dance and how to teach others to dance. During the next month I will be helping Abramz develop a marketing slideshow as well as develop into an established and sustainable organization. Abramz is truly an inspiration to everyone who meets him. He does what he does for the love of doing it and for the love of making other people happy. He exemplifies successful grassroots development work, he exemplifies the endless possibilities of empowering young people, and he has also reinforced to me the efficacy and capacity of development projects that are started locally, inspired by personal experience, and sustained by local leadership and dedication.
In addition to supporting Abramz, I am staying on to develop a project along with my co-leader and close friend Halle. In September Halle had the idea of marketing products created by a women’s group in Namuwongo in the United States. Halle encouraged the group to create a name and they came up with Hope for Namuwongo. The women have all been displaced by the conflict in the north and are living in extreme poverty in one of the slum areas in Kampala. I have now joined Halle and her vision and we are going to create a Fair Trade project called One Mango Tree. One Mango Tree will be a link on the GYPA website where people can learn about the artisan groups that we will be supporting (starting with Hope for Namuwongo) and purchase their products. Halle and I are currently doing research and meeting with many people. Once Halle returns to the U.S. (on Friday) I will continue to work on the project’s development, along with the women’s group. Our goal is to launch the website with our first artisan group’s products sometime this spring. The project is exciting and is giving both Halle and I a much greater sense of purpose and many goals to work towards. It will take an enormous amount of patience to get the project up and running, but we are both dedicated, passionate about what we are doing, and excited to be working together, with GYPA, with the support of many people, and most importantly, with artisan groups doing incredible work and increasing the capacities of many underprivileged individuals.
Last but not least, I am continuing to work with and for GYPA. I will once again be organizing summits/immersions for this coming summer. In addition, I will be assisting the Ugandan staff with their work. I am hoping to go up to Apache, a district in the north, where GYPA has just started developing a soccer program for youth at two different IDP camps. I continue to be very interested in peace processes (which is suffering from major setbacks), the conflict in the north, and issues of reconciliation and reintegration. Working on program development in the north promises to be an interesting and informative experience.
For anyone who got through this entire entry - thank you for being so interested in what I'm doing!!!
Extending my stay in Uganda only entered my mind a few days before leaving. At that point in time, I had no idea what I would do if I stayed longer. The Kimeeza II summit was a success from the get go and both the American and Ugandan participants served as a great inspiration and motivation to stay. The Ugandan participants inspired me with their passion for social justice and their love for and hope in life. All of the participants dedicate their free time (or all of their time) towards helping others who are less fortunate. They work at the grassroots level and having only spent a few weeks with them I was able to witness what a great impact they are having on their communities. The Americans inspired me with their eagerness to learn and their commitment to taking action. Half way through the trip I was not sure if I would extend my stay or not, but during one of the one-on-one evaluation sessions one of the participants was completely distraught because of how much she wanted to stay. She was close to postponing her last semester at college in order to stay and do something. She decided to complete her degree and come back this summer (which I 100% support), but it reminded me that those who CAN do something should. I decided that since I am fortunate to be able to stay on and do something here that I will put my trust into the belief that things will fall into place.
It has been difficult for me to abandon my goal of completing the Miami Marathon (just 5 days away), as I had been training for it since September. However, I would not have put this goal on hold unless I had found something more worthwhile to dedicate my time to. A woman named Torkin, a co-founder of an organization called Bead for Life, said to a group of us that the answer to your prayers or your calling may not be exactly as you expected. I am not sure what I expected, but I did not expect to meet Abramz, founder of Breakdance Project Uganda. Abramz is a socially conscious hip hop artists, a well-known rapper, and now teaches free breakdancing classes in Kampala and in Gulu. Thus far Abramz has supported the project out of his own pocket, turning down paying jobs so that he can continue with his work and reach more youth. Last night I attended my first breakdancing class where young boys and girls of all ages, races and classes come to learn how to dance and how to teach others to dance. During the next month I will be helping Abramz develop a marketing slideshow as well as develop into an established and sustainable organization. Abramz is truly an inspiration to everyone who meets him. He does what he does for the love of doing it and for the love of making other people happy. He exemplifies successful grassroots development work, he exemplifies the endless possibilities of empowering young people, and he has also reinforced to me the efficacy and capacity of development projects that are started locally, inspired by personal experience, and sustained by local leadership and dedication.
In addition to supporting Abramz, I am staying on to develop a project along with my co-leader and close friend Halle. In September Halle had the idea of marketing products created by a women’s group in Namuwongo in the United States. Halle encouraged the group to create a name and they came up with Hope for Namuwongo. The women have all been displaced by the conflict in the north and are living in extreme poverty in one of the slum areas in Kampala. I have now joined Halle and her vision and we are going to create a Fair Trade project called One Mango Tree. One Mango Tree will be a link on the GYPA website where people can learn about the artisan groups that we will be supporting (starting with Hope for Namuwongo) and purchase their products. Halle and I are currently doing research and meeting with many people. Once Halle returns to the U.S. (on Friday) I will continue to work on the project’s development, along with the women’s group. Our goal is to launch the website with our first artisan group’s products sometime this spring. The project is exciting and is giving both Halle and I a much greater sense of purpose and many goals to work towards. It will take an enormous amount of patience to get the project up and running, but we are both dedicated, passionate about what we are doing, and excited to be working together, with GYPA, with the support of many people, and most importantly, with artisan groups doing incredible work and increasing the capacities of many underprivileged individuals.
Last but not least, I am continuing to work with and for GYPA. I will once again be organizing summits/immersions for this coming summer. In addition, I will be assisting the Ugandan staff with their work. I am hoping to go up to Apache, a district in the north, where GYPA has just started developing a soccer program for youth at two different IDP camps. I continue to be very interested in peace processes (which is suffering from major setbacks), the conflict in the north, and issues of reconciliation and reintegration. Working on program development in the north promises to be an interesting and informative experience.
For anyone who got through this entire entry - thank you for being so interested in what I'm doing!!!
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Current Events
While Halle and I were on one of our long matatu (taxi) rides to Sipi Falls, on the border of Uganda and Kenya for a two night vacation, we heard that Alice Lakwena passed away in a Kenyan Refugee Camp. Alice Lakwena was the founder of the Holy Spirit Movement over 20 years ago, a movement that in some ways gave birth to the current conflict with the Lords Resistance Army. I'm not sure what the implications of her death might be, if there are any at all, but it's important to take note of. More information can be found:
http://www.ugandacan.org/item/1945 http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/01/18/africa/AF-GEN-Obit-Alice-Lakwena.phphttp://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/6274313.stm
Our GYPA summit was at a critical time in northern Uganda's peace process. It is interesting to be in the country as things evolve. Currently it seems as though the peace talks are struggling if not stopped entirely. Two girls in Gulu district were recently raped by LRA rebels. I don't know what all of this means for northern Uganda. Activism here and the U.S. is essential now more than ever.
http://www.ugandacan.org/item/1945 http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/01/18/africa/AF-GEN-Obit-Alice-Lakwena.phphttp://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/6274313.stm
Our GYPA summit was at a critical time in northern Uganda's peace process. It is interesting to be in the country as things evolve. Currently it seems as though the peace talks are struggling if not stopped entirely. Two girls in Gulu district were recently raped by LRA rebels. I don't know what all of this means for northern Uganda. Activism here and the U.S. is essential now more than ever.
On Our Own - written Jan 17th
I am sad to say that I have not had time to so much as pick up my journal in the last week and a a half. I am behind in my journal, which means that my blog is far from an updated account of what I've been up to and what my plans are.
Before going further there are a few important people to introduce. There were 4 main leaders of the Global Kimeeza II Summit (along with some others, but for the sake of story-telling at the moment I'll only give the 4). Josh was the summit coordinator. This was the 4th trip that Josh helped organize for GYPA. He has been living in Uganda since the summer. Rebekah has also been living here for four months. Rebekah is an alumni of the first Global Kimeeza and came on board to be our media coordinator and is the creator of our program blog (website to the right!). Finally, I am brought to Halle Butvin. Blog readers meet Halle Butvin:
I met Halle in September when Carrie (the other fabulous full time staffer at GYPA in DC - who will get her own intro at another time) and I organized an alumni meeting. Halle traveled with GYPA to Uganda in July, fell in love, had some serious impact before she left, and returned to her job at AIR (America's Institute for Research) where she began to spend all of her free time doing work for GYPA. It's quite entertaining looking back at our meetings throughout the fall, it seems like ages ago and like we were two totally different people. Sometime in October, Halle came on board to be my U.S. co-coordinator. We selected the participants together, prepared the participants, created and edited program materials and got ourselves ready to lead the group of 13 to Uganda.
Going through the last 2 1/2 weeks with Halle brought the entire experience to a new level of effectiveness, intellectual stimulation, personal growth and, most importantly, fun. We've
decide to cut crunches out of our workout plan (which has yet to happen anyways) because we laugh enough that our stomachs are usually sore. The participants were shocked last night when they discovered that Halle and I have only known each other since September, it really does feel like we've known each other forever....as one participant noted, we are "cut from the same fabric". It's been incredible to experience Uganda and the ups and downs of leadership and responsibility with Halle. Halle graduated from Ohio State and went on to receive her masters in Urban Planning. She brought incredible insight and experience to this trip and her motivation has had a huge impact on my decision to stay in Uganda.
My decision to stay in Uganda finally felt real as Josh, Rebekah, Halle and I hugged our 13 participants goodbye at 6:00 am this morning. My seat was gone, and suddenly the plane was too. Walking back to the bus with the sun rising over Lake Victoria was surreal. Going on one hour of sleep and two weeks of the subconscious weight of being responsible for 13 lives, I had (and have) a wide range of emotions. I felt like I could sleep for days, I felt out of place and confused (wasn’t I supposed to get on that airplane??), I felt in awe (sunrises and sunsets anywhere in Africa somehow seem different…more mystical), I felt overjoyed to be walking somewhere without a trail of 13 Americans asking what were sometimes insanely silly questions (or for Immodium), I felt a hint of emptiness/loneliness (yes I was the “leader” and they were the “participants”, but they most definitely became close and unforgetful friends who I immediately missed), and finally, I felt an incredible sense of freedom.
In my life I have been blessed by both opportunity and choice. I have traveled all over and have constantly been supported to make decisions independently. However, no matter how far I’ve traveled or what decision I’ve made, I have always felt something holding me back…school, illness, fear, boyfriends… When I turned and walked away from the airport looking at the sunrise I just felt overwhelmed by freedom. I just planned and carried out a trip to Uganda, it was a huge success, and now I somewhat spontaneously decided not to leave. I have a lot to go home for. I love my family, my friends, and despite America’s faults in foreign policy, I also love that America/Minnesota is the place that I call home. However, for the first time, I don’t have anything or anyone holding me back. Sometimes that feels lonely and directionless, but right now it feels completely liberating and exciting.
Before going further there are a few important people to introduce. There were 4 main leaders of the Global Kimeeza II Summit (along with some others, but for the sake of story-telling at the moment I'll only give the 4). Josh was the summit coordinator. This was the 4th trip that Josh helped organize for GYPA. He has been living in Uganda since the summer. Rebekah has also been living here for four months. Rebekah is an alumni of the first Global Kimeeza and came on board to be our media coordinator and is the creator of our program blog (website to the right!). Finally, I am brought to Halle Butvin. Blog readers meet Halle Butvin:
I met Halle in September when Carrie (the other fabulous full time staffer at GYPA in DC - who will get her own intro at another time) and I organized an alumni meeting. Halle traveled with GYPA to Uganda in July, fell in love, had some serious impact before she left, and returned to her job at AIR (America's Institute for Research) where she began to spend all of her free time doing work for GYPA. It's quite entertaining looking back at our meetings throughout the fall, it seems like ages ago and like we were two totally different people. Sometime in October, Halle came on board to be my U.S. co-coordinator. We selected the participants together, prepared the participants, created and edited program materials and got ourselves ready to lead the group of 13 to Uganda.
Going through the last 2 1/2 weeks with Halle brought the entire experience to a new level of effectiveness, intellectual stimulation, personal growth and, most importantly, fun. We've
decide to cut crunches out of our workout plan (which has yet to happen anyways) because we laugh enough that our stomachs are usually sore. The participants were shocked last night when they discovered that Halle and I have only known each other since September, it really does feel like we've known each other forever....as one participant noted, we are "cut from the same fabric". It's been incredible to experience Uganda and the ups and downs of leadership and responsibility with Halle. Halle graduated from Ohio State and went on to receive her masters in Urban Planning. She brought incredible insight and experience to this trip and her motivation has had a huge impact on my decision to stay in Uganda.My decision to stay in Uganda finally felt real as Josh, Rebekah, Halle and I hugged our 13 participants goodbye at 6:00 am this morning. My seat was gone, and suddenly the plane was too. Walking back to the bus with the sun rising over Lake Victoria was surreal. Going on one hour of sleep and two weeks of the subconscious weight of being responsible for 13 lives, I had (and have) a wide range of emotions. I felt like I could sleep for days, I felt out of place and confused (wasn’t I supposed to get on that airplane??), I felt in awe (sunrises and sunsets anywhere in Africa somehow seem different…more mystical), I felt overjoyed to be walking somewhere without a trail of 13 Americans asking what were sometimes insanely silly questions (or for Immodium), I felt a hint of emptiness/loneliness (yes I was the “leader” and they were the “participants”, but they most definitely became close and unforgetful friends who I immediately missed), and finally, I felt an incredible sense of freedom.
In my life I have been blessed by both opportunity and choice. I have traveled all over and have constantly been supported to make decisions independently. However, no matter how far I’ve traveled or what decision I’ve made, I have always felt something holding me back…school, illness, fear, boyfriends… When I turned and walked away from the airport looking at the sunrise I just felt overwhelmed by freedom. I just planned and carried out a trip to Uganda, it was a huge success, and now I somewhat spontaneously decided not to leave. I have a lot to go home for. I love my family, my friends, and despite America’s faults in foreign policy, I also love that America/Minnesota is the place that I call home. However, for the first time, I don’t have anything or anyone holding me back. Sometimes that feels lonely and directionless, but right now it feels completely liberating and exciting.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Africa is an addiction
Seriously... I don't know how to explain it, but you just can't get enough! I've extended my stay in Uganda for another month, who knows from there... Halle, my U.S. Kimeeza II co-coordinator, is hanging around for another week so once we drop the participants at the airport tomorrow we're going to check into a nice hotel for one night for some re-grouping, non-starch food, laundry, 100 warm showers, toilet seats, and high speed internet, oh the things we take for granted sometimes.
The Kimeeza II was formally closed yesterday and today is our last day together in Kampala. It's been amazing watching the impact of the trip on each participant and the connections made between the Americans and the Ugandans. I'm excited to see what everyone ends up doing after this, I think over half are planning on coming back this summer and volunteering for GYPA and GYPA affiliated programs. This has definitely been a rewarding experience and I'm so grateful I have the opportunity to stay and dive into life here a bit more!
The Kimeeza II was formally closed yesterday and today is our last day together in Kampala. It's been amazing watching the impact of the trip on each participant and the connections made between the Americans and the Ugandans. I'm excited to see what everyone ends up doing after this, I think over half are planning on coming back this summer and volunteering for GYPA and GYPA affiliated programs. This has definitely been a rewarding experience and I'm so grateful I have the opportunity to stay and dive into life here a bit more!
Thursday, January 11, 2007
What about the girls?
Sometimes people (including myself in the past) forget that not all child soldiers are male. The number of girls who have been abducted in northern Uganda and other regions of conflict is astounding. When abducted they are made into sex slaves as well as fighters. Sister Hellen from an organization called Little Sisters of Mary Immaculate took me with her yesterday to visit their project location. Sister Hellen was abducted in 1994 and, unlike most, was allowed to go after a few hours. Her sister, however, was abducted in in 1990 and did not escape until 2003 having given birth to 3 children in the bush. Sister Hellen began a school in the outskirts of Gulu for the vocational training of formerly abducted women with children (but also includes other women in the community who have given birth and are unable to go to school). The stories the girls have to share are horrific. The atrocities they were forced to commit are difficult to stomach. When they were not being raped, cooking or cleaning they were sent into battle where they would sling their babies infront of their stomachs so that if they were shot from behind, the baby would live. Many of their babies are hearing impaired because their mothers had to fire riffles right next to their ears.
Many of these women are not accepted back into their communities as they are viewed as "rebels". Sister Hellen's vocational school is now building a nursery for the children and their next project will be dormatories. Sister Hellen's upbeat spirit was moving. I've met so many people who were abducted, also those who lost parents or other family members...their positive attitude, determination for peace and incredible capacity to forgive is truly inspirational. True, many horrible things have happened here. However, just as all of my previous experiences in Africa have demonstrated, hope and the human capacity to do good far surpasses the negative.
Many of these women are not accepted back into their communities as they are viewed as "rebels". Sister Hellen's vocational school is now building a nursery for the children and their next project will be dormatories. Sister Hellen's upbeat spirit was moving. I've met so many people who were abducted, also those who lost parents or other family members...their positive attitude, determination for peace and incredible capacity to forgive is truly inspirational. True, many horrible things have happened here. However, just as all of my previous experiences in Africa have demonstrated, hope and the human capacity to do good far surpasses the negative.
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
Canokema David
Today we took the participants to GUSCO Gulu Support the Children Organisation, a rehabiliation center for abducted children who return from the bush. There are only 6 children at the center currently, down from upwards of 300 at any given time 2 years ago. They assume that this means that fewer children are being abducted.
We then went to Paicho IDP Camp, a 40 minute drive from Gulu town. Many people have left the camp since the peace talks began in August, however there are still over 15,000 in that camp alone (and there are many camps) living in horrible conditions. A boy named David came up and walked with me the rest of the day. He was abducted in 2002 and escaped the rebels in 2004. He escaped by run
ning and was shot in the back of his leg. He went through GUSCO (mentioned above) and received amnesty from the government. He carries his amnesty card with him. Unfortunately when he returned, his father, who is in the UPDF (Uganda's military) would not accept him (because he was a "rebel") so he lives in town with an aunt and the government pays for his school fees. All he asked for was my name. I don't think the experience of being in the camp has hit me yet... I would definitely like to spend more time there and see David again...
We then went to Paicho IDP Camp, a 40 minute drive from Gulu town. Many people have left the camp since the peace talks began in August, however there are still over 15,000 in that camp alone (and there are many camps) living in horrible conditions. A boy named David came up and walked with me the rest of the day. He was abducted in 2002 and escaped the rebels in 2004. He escaped by run
ning and was shot in the back of his leg. He went through GUSCO (mentioned above) and received amnesty from the government. He carries his amnesty card with him. Unfortunately when he returned, his father, who is in the UPDF (Uganda's military) would not accept him (because he was a "rebel") so he lives in town with an aunt and the government pays for his school fees. All he asked for was my name. I don't think the experience of being in the camp has hit me yet... I would definitely like to spend more time there and see David again...
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