Start Close In

After that autumn morning and some honest conversations with friends and family, I knew that leaving my job was the first step. I wasn't sure what would come after that, but I trusted that the next step would come to me after I took the first one. David Whyte's poem guided me through the difficult week or so leading up to my resignation.

Start Close In

Start close in,

don't take the second step

or the third,

start with the first

thing

close in,

the step

you don't want to take.

Start with

the ground 

you know,

the pale ground

beneath your feet,

your own

way of starting 

the conversation.

Start with your own 

question,

give up on other

people's questions, 

don't let them

smother something

simple.

To find

another's voice, 

follow

your own voice,

wait until

that voice

becomes a

private ear

listening 

to another.

Start right now

take a small step

you can call your own

don't follow

someone else's 

heroics, be humble

and focused,

start close in,

don't mistake

that other

for your own.

Start close in, 

don't take

the second step

or the third,

start with the first

thing

close in,

the step

you don't want to take.

........

It was an interesting process for me. I didn't feel like I had a say in the matter anymore. I knew the only way forward was to walk into the office and put in my notice. Part of me (the ego part of me) left my body and I it felt like someone/thing was completely in control of my movement. December 5th was going to be my last day and I was going to take a good amount of vacation time leading up to it to focus on my grad school applications. I left the office that day and haven't had a single moment of regret since.